A Solitary Orbit

the common sense guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse:

gyzym:

So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:

1. IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is: 
2. RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…

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So my dad just watched Thor…

I walked downstairs this morning and my dad immediately launches into an explanation of why Thor is a stupid douchebag that would’ve ruined Asgard and killed hundreds in a pointless war and why Loki was actually the good guy, but was totally misunderstood. If you look at what Loki actually did and was trying to do, apart from killing all Frost Giants (which Thor tried to do too, but in a stupider way), his one goal was to be loved, and earn his family’s respect. What he did that seemed like betrayal was totally controlled and put no Asgardians in any real danger. He even lied to Thor so he wouldn’t have to actually hurt him to prevent his early return. He went about the elimination of the Frost Giants in such a way that there would be no war and no fatalities for his side, which although was not the most honorable way, was due to his misguided notion of what he thought his father wanted. Thor had the same goal, but instead of doing it in a clever way, he brought his best friends and Loki to the ice realm to die fighting.Considering the growing that Thor had to go through, it really wasn’t fair to not give Loki a chance too. If you’re considering ideal qualities for a king, Asgardians should consider both brute strength andsmarts, and perhaps they would have seen that Loki would have made a good king. However, Thor was in line for the throne probably because of his seniority, not just his actual origins, which Loki didn’t seem to understand, and thus interpreted as a betrayal on the part of his parents. He never really meant to hurt his brother, as he didn’t see him as guilty of the betrayal, but he was always jealous. In another light, Loki could be just a thwarted hero struggling to find his place in a world that he never really belonged in.

In all, he was really a tragic hero, caught in the wrong movie.

Nothing starts off a Tuesday like an avalanche of Loki feels.